8 Subtle But Painful Signs Of A Troubled Relationship

People have a natural inclination to partner up, whether it’s for procreation, sexual recreation or you’re just looking for that special lifelong someone. But sometimes people find themselves in a troubled relationship.

If you find yourself single for a long period of time, it starts to feel like you’d do anything to have a relationship. Suddenly anyone seems like they can offer dating potential, but only because you’re lonely.

So what happens when you meet your match, and instead of sharing nights out and post-coital bliss, your happily-ever-after becomes happily-never-after?

Why do people feel trapped and troubled in their own relationships? Well, there are many reasons to feel troubled in a relationship. Some are innocent and a part of human nature, while some are harmful to one’s wellbeing.

# You’re unhappy

This is the easiest way to tell if you’re trapped in a troubled relationship. While most people whine and pout about not having that special somebody, you’re wishing you could hit a fast-forward button whenever your partner is around.

If you find yourself slipping into a relationship-based depression or just plain cringe at the thought of coming home to your partner, then it might be time to open your eyes to the truth of your relationship.

Don’t feel bad. People lose interest, get bored, and move on from their romantic trysts. While it isn’t exactly a walk in the park, sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and end what isn’t working.

Hey, relationships are hard and breakups are even harder. If you feel you’ve done everything you could do to try and save your relationship or simply lost your gusto to even bother, get out of your relationship while you’re still sane.

# You’ve turned into their caretaker

If instead of enjoying yourself in your relationship, you suddenly find yourself trying to “save” your partner or take care of them.

Spending too much time trying to fix your partner and help them, be it their personality or their personal problems, may take a draining effect on you and turn any happy relationship into a troubled one. What’s more, you could end up feeling like you can’t leave your partner until you’ve resolved the damage in their life.

This is an understandable quandary and a moral one too. Suppose your girlfriend or boyfriend suffers from clinical depression and after years together, you decide you are ready to move on.

You may feel scared to break up, wondering if they will landslide into depression and anxiety and if you’re better off biting the love bullet and sticking it out, if only for their sanity.

While this may seem noble, all you’re really doing is trapping yourself in an unhappy relationship, and your partner in a codependent relationship.

# You’ve already tried to leave

So you’ve already tried to excuse yourself from the shambles you used to call a relationship, but then your partner started giving you those doe-eyes, welling up with tears, then the lip starts going and you felt your resolve crumble.

This is called staying in a troubled relationship out of pity. You truly aren’t doing yourself, or your partner, any favors by staying because you feel too bad to leave.

Surely, this will only lead to your eyes starting to wander, or resentment building between the two of you. Don’t let fear or pity stop you from starting over with someone who can make you happier.

# You’re not yourself

One way to tell if you’re stuck or unhappy in your troubled relationship is to do a personal examination of yourself. How much have you changed in the time that you’ve been with your current partner?

Sure, people change depending on who they are with, but if you’ve suddenly turned into a “yes-man” or a woman who can no longer voice her own opinion, then odds are you haven’t found the person for you.

The person who is right for you will enjoy your personality and love you for you, not try to stifle it.

# Your friends and family have picked up on a change

Your friends and family, while they can be wrong, usually have a nose for this type of thing.

If your closest friends, your parents, or your siblings have started to notice a change in your behavior or general mood or unhealthy behavior exhibited by your partner, it may do you good to listen. After all, they can see the situation from an outside perspective.

In fact, they may even notice it before you do. If trusted friends and family begin to question your relationship or your partner, take a step back and ponder over why that is. They may be seeing a glaring problem that you can’t see.

# You are straying romantically or looking for a way out online

If you find yourself actively seeking another romantic partner’s company, or have begun having an affair because you’re unhappy, then one thing is clear: you need to end this.

Straying emotionally or physically is only going to lead to more hurt and resentment, in the end, not to mention it’s a definite sign that you’re emotionally and physically checked out of your troubled relationship.

# You feel smothered

If you feel like you can’t get away from your partner, then you feel smothered. Maybe your partner is jealous or possessive. And if they feel this way, they might want you to be with them 24/7.

But you want to have a life outside of the relationship. In fact, it’s healthy to have your own friends, hobbies, and interests.

But if you feel like your partner is not letting you have any time outside of just being with them all the time, then you are probably in a troubled relationship. No one should feel smothered.

# Your partner is controlling

If you find you are often lying to yourself about your emotional welfare to defend an emotionally or physically controlling partner, it’s time to seek serious help.

It may be that your partner has emotionally or physically intimidated you into staying in your relationship, causing you to feel there isn’t anyone else out there who would have you.

Partners who are abusive usually control with financial manipulations, emotional put-downs, family or friend isolation, and physical violence.

If your partner has exhibited any of these signs, and you simply feel too trapped to leave, then you need to start making an exit plan with your local police or domestic violence support group. These people are professionally trained to help you leave in a way that is safe.