8 Things To Do When You Are Torn Between Two Lovers

Not many people will be faced with the decision to choose between two people they really like. Even if a person is torn between two lovers, one person usually doesn’t reciprocate their feelings all that much. It’s uneven.

So if you’re in this situation, count yourself lucky. Or not, because this will be a very hard choice to make!

If you’re genuinely into two different people who both want you back, you’ll have to do some serious thinking. This will be a major decision, so make sure to think through things deeply.

# Get to know each deeper

You should’ve already known to do this but better late than never. Make sure you really, really know each of them at their core. And this doesn’t mean just knowing their favorite colors or their favorite foods.

Know what they’d grab if their house caught fire. Know the one thing they hate most in the entire world. You should have a really deep sense of knowing each of them.

Only then can you fairly choose the right person.

# Think about your future

And think about it hard. If you have no idea what you want in life or where your life is heading, can you really make a solid decision about who to be with when you’re torn between two lovers? Probably not.

The truth is, you can’t see a future with someone when you can’t see a future at all. You won’t know who will fit best in your life if you’re not sure what that life will look like. So think long and hard about what you want for your future.

# Take physical attraction out of the equation

Don’t even consider what either of them looks like. Judge this as if you were blind but still had the same feelings for each person.

The reason for this is because you can easily be drawn toward one simply because they’re more attractive than the other, who might actually be the better match for you. If you couldn’t even see either of them, who would you choose then?

# Notice your personality around each

Does your personality change with one person but not the other? Are you able to be more of yourself around one of them?

If so, that’s the person you should be with, not the one who makes you change your personality.

Also, pay attention to what your personality is like with each. Are your happier and laugh easier with one? That’s the person you’ll want to choose if that’s the case. Decide on the person who’ll bring out the best in you.

# Think about the dynamic of each relationship

How are each of the relationships? You might not be in an exclusive relationship with either but you still have a certain dynamic with them.

If you have a really fun, light-hearted nature with one but a more serious, lusty dynamic with the other, go for the fun one.

Chances are, you might have a lot of strong sexual chemistry with the other one, but can you kick back and have a really good time? That’s what matters.

# Seek help from friends

Get your friends together and ask for their opinions. No, not on the two lovers, but who you seem better with.

Ask who you end up talking about more and get an outside opinion on how you act with both because your friends can see more clearly than you can. Have them help you when you’re torn between two lovers.

# Decide whose lifestyle is the most similar to yours

This is really important because someone with a completely different lifestyle just won’t work with you, even if you really like them. You need someone whose life is very much like your own.

Does one of them want to go out and do the things you do regularly while another would prefer to skip those things and do something they like but you tolerate?

You don’t have to have every little thing in common, but you should have a generally similar lifestyle.

# Think about your family, too

It’s true that your family doesn’t have to approve of your partner in order for you to be with them. However, if your family is important to you, you’ll want to make sure the other person can fit in well with them.

Which of the two would mesh well in your family? Does one person clearly stand out? You might want to think about choosing that person if your family is a major part of your life.