- Home›
- Mates & Me›
- 8 Tips To Help You Get Over A Broken Heart
8 Tips To Help You Get Over A Broken Heart
By: Kratika Thu, 28 Jan 2021 2:56:49
So your worst nightmare has become reality. The love of your life has left you behind in the dust, holding pieces of your broken heart. You may be experiencing the following symptoms of heartbreak: numbness, loss of appetite or emotionally overeating by indulging in comfort food, increased chances of crying over small frustrations, crying randomly because something reminded you of your ex, withdrawal from society, and general irritability. These side effects of getting your heart broken could last quite a while – it could be from several weeks to a span of months.
To stop it from messing with your life, you need to start working to get over your broken heart, and you need to do it fast. Your head may be a total mess, and you may be wondering what to do with yourself now. The obvious and in fact only choice you have is to just pick yourself back up and move on. The sooner you're able to get over him and heal yourself, the sooner you'll be ready to love someone else.
# Take as much time as you need to get over your broken heart
The first thing you need to remember when getting over a broken heart is that it's not going to happen overnight. Much like falling in love, getting over love will also take a good amount of time. There's no hard and fast rule as to exactly how long it will take. Don't believe those myths that say you should be ready to date again within 1, 3, or even 6 months. Since everybody is unique, we all process heartbreak differently. This is a very sensitive chapter of your life, so take it easy on yourself. Tone down the self-criticism; it's not going to help heal your heart any faster. Focus more on self-love and encouraging yourself to bloom again. Let's use the caterpillar's metamorphosis as a guide. This initial post-heartbreak stage is when you make a cocoon for yourself. Wrap yourself up carefully and prepare to emerge as a stronger, more beautiful version of yourself when you've finished healing your wounds.
# Reflect on the relationship and why your heart is broken
When your emotions have stabilized somewhat, it's good to look back at what happened in your relationship (or almost relationship; it's okay – we've been there too) to figure out how you got your heart broken. Admittedly, it's an extremely painful and difficult task. Revisiting memories that used to make you so happy will be almost like pouring alcohol over a fresh cut. However, the pain is just part of the process of washing your mind clean of everything that is causing you to suffer. Think carefully about how you got your heart broken. Why and how exactly did it happen? Did you disagree with your lover about something important? Did he cheat? Was it a slow process towards getting your heart broken or did it happen all at once? Ask yourself these sorts of questions to help you look at your situation objectively. If you want, you can even write down detailed answers if you want to better organize your thoughts. Through reflecting on your broken heart, you may discover some hidden truths about your former love. For example, you could have made a decision to stay with him even if you knew it was a bad idea, thus leading to eventual heartbreak, or the guy simply could have been a jerk. Which brings us to the next point...
# Get over your memories of him
You'll never be able to fully get over him if you keep on rereading your sweet messages with your former love, if you drunk text him at 3 am, or if you still open that hidden folder in your phone full of his photos. It's time to move on, girl! To help your heart heal, you need to get rid of things that make the heartbreak feel fresh again. Delete all your old messages with him. Delete his pics from your phone, computer, wherever. Unfollow him on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, wherever. Don't open his Snapchat or IG stories. If he really, seriously hurt you, you can even block his number from your phone and unfriend him on all social media. This is also a symbolic action of healing. Removing the guy who broke your heart from all aspects of your life, both real and virtual, signifies that you are ready to leave him in the past and move forward to better things.
# Focus on other relationships, not your broken heart
While you were nursing your hurt feelings and wallowing in misery, you may have completely ignored the outside world. On one hand, it's okay to take some time to focus on yourself and your journey of healing. On the other hand, your friends and family are sure to be concerned about you if you hide from society for too long. You can turn to your friends and loved ones in this time of need. They will stand steadfast and strong, letting you lean on them as you slowly get back to your feet. Remember, there's more to life than just romantic love. There's the bond of love shared by good friends. There's the love that a mother and father have for their child. There's love between siblings, cousins, etc. Why spend all your time crying over a failed romance when there's so many more different kinds of love waiting for you?
# Getting over it means getting angry
As you work through the process of getting over a broken heart, there may be times when you feel angry out of nowhere. You might be going about your daily activities, thinking everything is fine when BAM! A thought comes out of nowhere and you're suddenly getting all worked up over something that happened in the past. This is totally okay. It's natural to retain feelings of anger and resentment towards the person who broke your heart. The important thing is that you need to channel these strong negative energies into something more positive.
Do NOT call up your ex and start yelling at him, or show up at his house with a bat, or do anything else that's based more on emotion than reason. You should never deal with someone who broke your heart when your head isn't clear. Instead, work off your feelings by working up a good sweat. Go for a run, and go as fast and hard as you can. Do any exercise that'll push you to your limits and make you forget about your anger temporarily. Alternatively, you may want to meditate in silence or listen to music. You can try any method that will get you calm down. Just make sure it's an effective one that works fast; the sooner you can calm your mind, the better. Then you can begin to process your anger. Understanding what caused those feelings to erupt will help you deal with them better in the future, should they ever rise again.
# Get over your broken heart by finding a new hobby
The absence of someone to text 24/7 or go on dates with means you may have suddenly found yourself with a ton of free time on your hands. This is a good thing! Use your newfound free time to try out something new! Bonus points if it's something your recent ex disapproved of or would have judged you for. Ideally, you should get into something that will make you feel good (like a new type of exercise) or something you've always been curious about (maybe a form of art). Whatever new hobby you choose, throw yourself into it with your heart and soul. Not only will you be able to develop new skills and improve existing ones, but you will also reap the added benefit of having something to focus on other than your broken heart.
# It's okay to cry over your broken heart and lost love
The process of getting over a broken heart isn't always going to be a smooth journey forward. There are going to be detours along the way and potholes in the road. As early as now, you need to know that there will be days that the initial sadness will return. Despite your hard work to move on from your past love, there are going to be days when it doesn't feel like you've healed at all. Instead, you may feel like you've slid backwards and all the feelings you worked so hard to repress have entirely burst out. Do not repress your feelings. That is not healthy behavior. As sucky as it is, you have to realize that they're not going to completely die away that fast. The best you can hope for is that one day, you'll randomly think of the person who broke your heart and not feel anything except a vague feeling that's similar to shrugging. But for now, it's okay to cry. Cry into your pillow. Cry on a friend's shoulder or while hugging your pet. Let out your feelings. You'll feel a great sense of relief afterwards – promise.
# Do something crazy to get over your ex
Instead of constantly reminiscing over memories of your ex that you used to love thinking about, why not just create new memories to make you happy? For these new memories to take priority in your mind, they need to be special and significantly memorable. Your best bet is to do something completely spontaneous and out of your normal routine to let off some steam and forget about your broken heart. Typical activities that come to mind are road trips, late night snack runs, and sneaking out at midnight to hang out with friends. These are all fun ideas, but you don't have to go to such lengths if you don't want to or if you don't think it would suit your personality or lifestyle. If you'd rather take baby steps into the world of spur of the moment ideas, there are far easier things you can try. Simply trying out a new café instead of heading to your usual neighborhood spot totally counts! The goal of this exercise is to create new memories – new positive feelings that are