8 Ways Bros Before Hoes Is Totally Out Of Balance

It’s a universal truth that friends are important to guys. In fact, they’re sometimes even more important than family for them. So it’s safe to say that they’ll usually come first in regards to being in a relationship with someone new, for a short while at least. But we think the whole mentality behind bros before hoes has got to go.

We understand that your friends are important to you, and you hold them near and dear. However, if you take bros before hoes and put it into effect literally, you’re going to run into a lot of problems.

While it’s super important to keep your friendships while you’re in a new relationship, you can’t just make them a priority over your new love interest. There are a lot of reasons the whole mentality behind bros before hoes is harmful to not only a new relationship but to your psyche, too.

If you’re wondering why we’re aiming to get rid of this bro mentality, let’s make it plain and simple for you. These are all the reasons to put an end to the saying, bros before hoes, for good.

# Your relationship isn’t first priority

We can all agree that a relationship should be really important in your life. And while it may not be first priority while you begin dating and are new to each other, it should definitely be a priority once things are made official.

So, if you keep the bros before hoes mentality after you’re officially together, you’ll run into problems. If you want to build a life with someone, they’re first, and your bros will have to understand. If they can’t, well, they’re not really bros in the first place, are they?

# It shows wrong intentions

Nobody wants to get with a new guy and then hear that they strongly believe in bros before hoes. It’s off-putting, and quite frankly, it’s nearly impossible for a girl to take you seriously if you say something like this early on.

Why? Because we don’t want to feel like we’re just going to get ditched or sidelined because your bros called you out when we have plans. We don’t want to go into a relationship knowing that we’re not important.

# It makes it okay to ditch your girl

If you use the excuse, bros before hoes, as a means to get out of doing whatever it is you and your girl planned, then it’s a problem. The biggest issue with this phrase being taken literally is that it makes you think it’s okay to ditch your girl.

If you think that it can get you out of your plans, you have another thing coming. Sure, if your friend is in dire need of you and it’s an emergency, you can explain it and we’re sure your girlfriend will understand.

But if you say, bros before hoes with a shrug while you saunter out the door, be prepared for hell to break loose when you get back.

# It makes your new lover feel left out

She wants to be important in your life. All people who are in a relationship *who actually want to be there* want to feel important to their significant other.

If you use this phrase and take it literally, she’s going to feel left out and separated. When bringing a girlfriend into your life, you have to bring her into all parts of your life including your friends’ lives. If you keep it separated like that, she’ll never feel fully with you which can pose many problems.

# You’re telling her she’s not important

Basically, you’re yelling loud and clear that she’s not important to you. Sure, you may not mean it in that way. You may just mean that your friends mean a lot to you, and if there’s something they need, you’ll be there.

But that’s not what your girl is hearing. By saying bros before hoes, you’re telling her that no matter what, she’s on the back burner. You’re saying that your friends will be your main priority, no matter what.

# It causes you to ignore her concerns when it’s about your friends

This can be a HUGE problem in relationships. If you ignore a problem your girlfriend has, it will fester until she just about explodes. You hear all the time about guys complaining because their girlfriend just went off.

Well, ignoring their concerns is usually why it happens. If you have the mentality of bros before hoes, you will dismiss any and all concerns she has about your friends – especially the valid ones.

# It fosters unrealistic expectations

If you really think that bros before hoes will always be something you aspire to achieve, you’re wrong.

If you think a relationship can possibly survive under those expectations, you’re wrong. There has to be a fair balance otherwise the relationship is doomed to fail, and you might end up resenting your friends because of it.

# It causes a world of stress

Who wants to purposely add stress to their life? We don’t! But guys do it all the time when they proclaim that bros before hoes is how they want to live their life. Why is that so stressful, you ask?

Because you’re setting yourself up for failure and disappointment. When your friends think you’re going to be there for them, and you end up being busy with your girl, they’re going to be pissed and call you a liar. That’s stressful for you. When your girlfriend is annoyed because you missed plans for something going on with your friend, that’s stressful too.