8 Ways To Resolve Conflict And Cut The Drama

Conflict is going to occur whether you like it or not. You can try to avoid conflict as much as you like, but sometimes you have no other choice but to be in it. And knowing how to resolve conflict is an important skill to learn in life.

Now, you’re probably thinking conflict is a bad thing, but it’s not. It’s just two or more opposing ideas. Does this mean there’s going to be a war? No. It just means that you don’t agree with the other person. Now, if you handle the situation correctly, you may not be able to solve it, but you’ll be able to calm down the situation and come to some compromise.

# Take a breath

Cool down, it’s going to be okay. First and foremost, take a breath and just chill out. Arguing is stressful and you won’t be able to think properly when you’re in rage mode. So, try to get yourself to calm down and think rationally.

# Try to see the problem in a bird’s eye view

This isn’t going to be easy, especially when you’re mad. Try to look at the situation objectively. You may not have thought you did anything wrong, but how would you feel if it happened to you?

# Sit down with the person when you both cooled off

Do not sit down with the person when you both look like you’re going to stab each other. I know problems should be solved sooner than later, but it’s okay to give a couple hours or even a couple days in between when you had your fight and when you sit down to talk.

# Describe the problem in the least amount of words

No one wants to hear a monologue of what happened, it’s dull. Keep your problem concise and to the point. If your partner came home drunk last night, say, “It bothers me when you come home late at night drunk.” There, you said the problem, you said how it makes you feel. Now, they have to respond.

# Let the other person reply

I know you’re angry but you won’t be able to resolve this unless you let the other person speak. So, when done giving your speech, let them reply. But this part is important, don’t just let them reply for the sake of it. Actually, listen to what they say back to you.

# Don’t forget nonverbal communication

You may not notice it but when you stand at the door with your hand on your hip, listening to this person talk—you look like an asshole. Your body language is extremely important during conflict resolution.

Of course, you don’t want to be curled up, giving off that victim vibe, but you don’t want to look defensive. Try to maintain a natural and neutral posture without making facial expressions such as eye rolling.

# Don’t try to “poke” the person

We all know what makes someone we love really pissed off, but that’s not the ideal step in knowing how to resolve conflict with someone you care about. I know exactly what to say to hurt my mother or brother. But, that doesn’t solve anything. You’re not trying to get the upper hand by putting them down, you’re trying to solve the problem. Leave your punches for a boxing class.

# Ask questions and get answers

If you want to understand where this person is coming from, ask questions. Of course, don’t ask questions that carry this accusatory vibe. Ask simple questions such as who, what, when, where, how. See, it’s easy. That way, you get to see the complete story from their side. Notice that I didn’t tell you to ask why? Because ‘why’ usually is an accusatory question. You’re trying to resolve the conflict not start another one.