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9 Rules For Friends With Benefits To Swear By
By: Neha Thu, 12 Jan 2023 6:28:06
So, you’re happily single and want to keep it that way but there is a friend who leaves you feeling weak in the knees every time you lay eyes on them. You get a sense that they too feel the same way. You have the perfect setting to get a friends-with-benefits relationship going. But don’t jump the gun just yet.
Before you hook up with this person that you find irresistible, get a contract with friends-with-benefits rules in place. Wondering what does that even mean? By contract, we don’t mean an actual written contract. We just mean setting expectations and ground rules. But definitely a clear, concise understanding of what this equation means for both of you and where you want to draw the line. To help you get started, here are 18 rules for friends with benefits that you can swear by:
# How to define friends with benefits
Well, broadly, the friends-with-benefits meaning is pretty self-explanatory. You’re friends who hook up with each other from time to time. However, the specifics of such an equation can mean different things to different people. Thus, the foremost of the friends-with-benefits rules for guys and girls is to define what this equation would entail.
# Always seek consent
Now that you’re boning, it doesn’t mean you can take asking for consent for granted. Don’t just show up at your friend’s place expecting some action without any forewarning. Or push for something they’re not ready for while you’re both in bed. Consent is one of the most crucial aspects of the contract and neither party must take it lightly at any time.
# Discuss the element of exclusivity and friends-with-benefits boundaries
When entering a friends-with-benefits arrangement with a buddy, do discuss expectations about sleeping with other people. How far do your friends-with-benefits boundaries go? While this is not a relationship, expectations can take hold in intimate connections such as these. Besides, some people just aren’t comfortable with the idea of their sexual partner having multiple partners. An honest conversation on this aspect is warranted while drawing up your friends-with-benefits contract.
# How to have safe sex with a FWB
One of the most important rules for everyone, irrespective of gender, is to have safe sex. Whether or not you’re sleeping with other people, safety is non-negotiable in such an arrangement. It’s not hard to see how throwing caution to the wind can expose you to the risk of STIs and STDs. So, it’s best to err on the side of caution and not get reckless in the heat of the moment.
# Pay attention to your personal hygiene
Just because you’re not dating this person, it doesn’t mean you get to be a slob in the bedroom. Even if she’s not your girlfriend/boyfriend, it doesn’t mean that you don’t have to groom yourself. Don’t show up with prickly pubes, stained undies, armpit hair, or garlic breath. Take time to groom yourself as you would if you were going to get down and dirty with a romantic partner.
# How to make the most of your FWB relationship
The best part about such unconventional alliances is that they excite you and stroke your carnal urges a whole lot more than a traditional relationship. So, revel in that rush you feel when in bed with your friend with benefits.
- Let yourself go and shed your inhibitions
- Play out your sexual fantasies and deep, dark desires
- Speak your mind and let them know what you desire
- Don’t hold yourself back from experimenting and exploring new things.
# How to not get emotionally attached to your FWB
It’s one thing if you and your friend with benefits have always hung out and are used to spending a lot of time together. But if this person is someone you shared a casual friendship with before, be wary of venturing into the couples’ territory.
- Avoid getting emotionally attached to your partner
- Steer clear of doing coupley stuff together like holding hands
- Do not be overly affectionate
- Limit activities such as going to the movies or shopping together
- No taking each other out on dates, having lunch, or getting coffee
- Limit your interactions and communication.
# Avoid flirting in public
This is especially important if you’re friends with benefits at the workplace or sleeping with a friend who is part of your gang. No matter how much you’re turned on by each other’s presence or how high the sparks are flying, avoid flirting in public. Also make this one of your friends-with-benefits rules in high school, where rumors rage on like wildfire. This is particularly important if you want to keep your relationship on the down low.
# Don’t introduce your FWB to family or friends
As far as friends-with-benefits rules go, introducing an FWB to your family or friends is a big NO-NO. That stuff is reserved for serious relationships only. By getting your family or friends involved in this arrangement, you risk complicating the situation by getting everyone’s expectations up. Not to mention the pain of dealing with the prying “what’s going with you guys” questions.