9 Strongest Obsessive Signs Of Limerence

I used to be obsessed with romantic comedies to the point where all I wanted was to experience an actual rom-com romance myself. How could I not want to live in a 90s rom-com? Exactly! But there’s a big problem with that type of romance. They often mistake signs of limerence with real love.

Honestly, it can be difficult to differentiate between limerence and love at the beginning of a relationship. This is when things can get a little messy for you.

When you first start dating someone, everything is heightened and intensified. You’re on cloud nine and can’t get enough of the other person. I know, I’ve been there too.

But, when it comes to limerence, the romantic attraction turns into obsessive thoughts and fantasies. The goal is to transform or keep the relationship at a high emotional state. This isn’t something that you are forcing upon yourself. Limerence is usually involuntary. Basically, someone with limerence just wants reciprocation of their intense feelings. And this is where limerence becomes a bit of a worry.

# It can last for years

I’m not joking. Limerence can literally last for years. Now that I think of it, I probably suffered from limerence in high school. I liked this one guy for six years, literally. It took a long time for those feelings to pass. It didn’t help that the guy was sending me mixed signals as well. If anything, it prolonged the process.

# Limerence doesn’t have long-term potential

When you love someone, it’s based on making each other happy by spending time together and sharing each other’s interests, hobbies, and talents. But with limerence, there is no genuine love. Limerence is only about gaining someone or something’s affection. It doesn’t matter whether that person actually likes you or not.

# You fantasize about them

Whether you’re in a relationship with this person or not, you spend your time fantasizing about them. You think about the future with them, how it’ll look like, how intense your relationship will be. And, of course, all this fantasizing is distracting you from your everyday life.

# Limerence is more than a crush

And it’s more than infatuation. With limerence, it’s more intense. See, with a crush or infatuation, they’re intense but short-term. However, the signs of limerence can last a long time, and the emotions are more dramatic with extreme highs and lows.

# You see them in everything

Whether you’re at work or walking down the street, everything you see reminds you of them. There’s nothing you don’t see that doesn’t remind you of them. And although this may sound romantic, even the strongest of couples don’t see their partners in everything.

# The relationship isn’t deep

You two could just be starting to date or don’t have any sort of relationship. Your relationship is quite shallow, at least for now. The thing is you’re already five steps ahead planning the wedding and what your children will look like. But you don’t even know this person. See the problem?

# It’s not based on sex

See, this is what people get mixed up with. Limerence isn’t based on sex; that would be lust. Limerence is more based on getting attention from the object or person you have feelings for, rather than needing to fulfill a sexual desire. So, if you have limerence, it’s not about the sex.

# You overanalyze everything

Okay, okay, I personally think everyone is guilty of overanalyzing the words and actions of someone we like. So, just because you overanalyze, doesn’t mean it’s limerence. But overanalyzing is one of the signs. If you’re analyzing every breath they take, every word they say, and connecting it to you, then it’s becoming a little obsessive.

# You believe they’re your soulmate

Whether you have had a soulmate before or not, you believe that they are the one. Your reasoning is that they feel this intense connection, almost as if you’re being pulled into them. The thing is, you barely know this person.