9 Sure Signs You Long Term Relationship Is Over

The first sign your relationship is over could be these words: We are not the same people anymore. Or it’s not you, it’s me. We don’t want to pay attention to the telltale signs but they are always there.

Relationships can get complicated. What’s normal for one couple probably isn’t normal for you (Mathew and Jasmine share their toothbrush, you can’t even fathom sharing the bathroom). What becomes a problem for one isn’t a problem for the other, and where one says they can “fight through it”, the other clearly sees the toxicity.

In most cases, the signs a relationship is over are right there for you to see. It can be as simple as the fact that you stop sharing things with each other. But when the comfort takes hold, you dismiss his anger issues by telling yourself, “That’s just what he’s like.” Or, you may dismiss her trust issues by thinking you’ve got to “deal with it”.These are some brutally honest truths about long-term relationships.

# When communication feels like a chore, it’s a sign your long-term relationship is over

If you are wondering, “Is my long-term relationship over?”, this is one of the first telltale signs. You’re probably not staying up the entire night anymore, talking about why his Uncle Jerry never takes his overalls off or why the family problems she has never seem to go away. After a few years, pulling all-nighters just to talk isn’t expected anyway.

# There’s a lack of emotional intimacy

“I can see he doesn’t feel like having engaging conversations with me anymore,” Leah told us, talking about how her 9-year long relationship seems to be falling off the rails. She adds, “I noticed the signs the relationship is over for him when he couldn’t find anything to talk about with me on our first “date” after 3 years.

“All he talked about was what needed fixing around the house, what he did to the lawn, and how the basement needed a fix-up. By this point, I can’t remember the last time I had a heart-to-heart conversation with him.”

# You feel burned out

Burnout is caused by a prolonged period of stress that harms a person’s mental state. It instills a sense of emotional exhaustion, when you feel hopelessly trapped, unmotivated about the future, and may get sick of your partner even if they’re not clingy or needy.

It’s one of those situations that you think will be fixed by a few weeks away from your partner, but the sense of feeling “trapped” or always being drained because of your partner will find its way back. You are feeling relationship drained. And this is one of the warning signs that your relationship might be over.

# You’re always fighting

If you’ve turned into the couple that fights in the middle of the mall every time you two go out and can’t seem to come to a common ground, it’s not something you can overlook. Every conversation turns into a fight, every difference in opinion is a relationship deal-breaker, and every attempt at banter is an attack.

If after a few hours of not arguing, you’re worried about conversing with your partner lest you incite a fight, it’s one of the biggest signs a relationship is over.

# Your partner isn’t the first person you call in an emergency or celebration

When it starts to feel like your personal achievements have become irrelevant to your relationship, it signifies a lack of emotional intimacy. When something unfortunate happens and your partner isn’t your go-to person to call in the event of an emergency, it indicates that you think you can’t rely on them.

It’s okay to share some news with another friend first if that friend is more invested or knows more about the situation. However, when every piece of good news seems like it’s not worth sharing, you’ve basically answered the question: “How to tell if a long-term relationship is over?”

# You’re thinking about someone else

Having a crush on someone while you’re in a relationship is normal. You might feel guilty for it but as long as it doesn’t take over your life or negatively impacts your primary relationship, it isn’t a problem.

However, when the grass looks green enough for you to want to jump the fence, it’s a problem. If you can’t stop thinking about a new crush or someone you’re interested in, you may need to reassess your feelings. Always wanting to talk to someone else over your partner more often than not signals that your heart isn’t in the relationship anymore.

# Trust issueshave cropped up

Whether your relationship has always been plagued by insecurities and trust issues, or if they were brought on by an episode of infidelity or betrayal, trust issues can wreak havoc. The constant questioning and insecurities can chip away at the foundation of your bond.The tough times that never seem to end can be one of the warning signs.

Can you feel that the relationship is close to being over? Yes, you can, especially when it feels like your partner is always hiding something from you, it piles up and eventually leads to extreme distrust. In such situations, you’re only going to feel a growing sense of hostility, not love.

# You don’t know what the problem is

You both know you’re fighting every single day. You both see how you’re drifting apart. But when it comes to a diagnosis, you’re firing blanks. You are feeling confused. If one person thinks the biggest problem is the lack of communication and the other believes it’s the jealousy that’s ruining the relationship, you’re never going to be able to work on it together.

# You’re in it because you don’t want to be single

Or for any other external reason. “We can’t do that to the kids” or “There’s a lot of financial stability” are things you might tell yourself. When external factors such as these become the primary reasons that you’re choosing to stay in a relationship, it’s one of the biggest signs a relationship is over.