9 Things What It Is Like To Be Catfished

It’s every online dater’s worst nightmare. You spend months talking to a person that you feel like you connect with on a variety of levels. You devote hours to this person, divulge personal and even painful information, and they still accept you. You think about them all the time and finally feel like you could fall in love with someone you’ve never actually met face to face.

The next thing you know, they start acting distant or pushing you away when you bring up meeting in person or talking via video calling. Ultimately, you are crushed and utterly deceived when the entire thing blows up in your face as you realize that the person you thought you knew was actually not even the same person they had portrayed themselves to be.

# You may be honest, but not everyone else is

It’s all too easy to be naïve and believe that being a good person who values honesty will also attract those types of people to you. While it’s not always a flaw to want to see the best in others, it’s also the quickest way to overlook red flags and end up disappointed.

Being catfished by a person who you believed to be honest is a slap of reality that serves as a reminder that not everyone will be honest with you just because you’re honest with them.

# Don’t judge a book by its cover

In today’s world of Photoshop, Instagram filters, Camera 360, and all kinds of editing programs that can manipulate images, it’s really not so difficult for someone to portray an overly flattering image to the online world. A catfish will only show you what they want you to believe, not who they really are.

Online dating sites are filled with profiles of blurry head shots or faceless pics of 6 packs or bikini bods. Some pictures are actually stolen from other real people’s profiles, and these are the worst kinds of deception. If the guy or girl you’re talking to looks like they walked right out of GQ or a Victoria’s Secret catalog, they actually might be fake.

# Don’t put all your eggs in one basket

The chances of this person being your soulmate could be real or not. The great thing about online dating is that you don’t have to commit to any one person before getting to know them, both online and in person.

# Watch out for the red flags

Only talking at certain times of the day, only body pics, fewer pictures, reluctance to engage in video chat or talk on the phone, hesitance to meet in person but seemingly interested… These are some of the biggest red flags of the online dating world. If the person you’re talking to does any of these things, bail out as soon as you can!

# Do your research

In the age of technology, there is bound to be something about this person that can validate whether they are real or not. Search for their name online, and try to see if they exist elsewhere. If you can’t find a legitimate-looking profile of them on sites like LinkedIn, Facebook, or even Twitter, they’re probably fakers.

# Ask the right questions

Dating, whether online or in real life, requires you to at least get to know a little about the person you’re talking to. Ask them questions about what they do, what they’re into, what kinds of people they hang out with, or where they like to hang out.

If their answers are inconsistent, you’re getting catfished. If they answer with all too generic responses, they’re either incredibly boring or you’re getting catfished. Lastly, if their responses are way too fantastical, they’re probably nuts and you’re most likely getting catfished. Any fishy answers will tell you that you’ve got a catfish in your hands.

# Don’t rely on messaging alone

It’s best to get them to talk on the phone and have a video chat before spending months speaking to someone who could be hiding behind a false image. Skype is the preferred method of being able to see the person you are talking to.

If they decline, you can expect that something fishy is going on, regardless of what excuse they might give you.

# Catch them off guard

You can choose to call them randomly while you’re chatting to see if they pick up. If they don’t, then that’s a huge red flag. If they pass the random call test, ask them for a photo holding a specific item or doing something specific. This will prove whether or not the photos they send you are genuine, and not just photos of random people they found online.

# Appeal to their morality

This is a long shot, particularly if the person you’re talking to is a pro at deception. But either way, honesty is still the best policy it’s worth a try to make them feel guilty for lying or deceiving you. You can mention that you hope they’re the real deal, because you’ve been nothing but honest this whole time.