9 Ways To Keep The Romance Alive When You Have Kids

Having kids may be the single most rewarding, yet tiring commitment you’ll ever have in your life. But in between cleaning up messes, packing lunches and helping with homework, are you still able to maintain some romance with your partner?

Oftentimes, couples invest most of their time and energy providing for their kids. Of course, their kids are their priority, but they often neglect giving attention to their partners. Dates become less often, romantic gestures are few and far in between, and don’t even get us started on the diminishing sex life!

# Save water, shower together

Don’t settle for a good morning peck on the cheek from your partner. Before you head off to your respective daily duties, hop in the shower together and have some fun. No, you don’t even need to have sex or even get kinky.

You may not have enough time for each other for the rest of the day, so bonding while doing your hygiene routine may give you something to look forward to each morning. Besides, your kids probably think you’re both still asleep, so they’re less likely to bother you while you’re getting all sudsy together.

# Have a daily ritual

Rituals and routines may not seem romantic, but it’s the consistency that keeps your bond intact. Showering is just one of many daily rituals you can do. A couple of other examples include spending your lunch hour together *if you work near each other* or cuddling for a couple of minutes before getting up or before heading to sleep.

You can also try preparing meals together while talking about what you’ve been up to lately. Just about anything consistent and easy to do can be your daily romance-revitalizing ritual!

# Go on a weekly date

Once a week, have at least one romantic date. You don’t even need to hire a babysitter for this. In fact, you don’t even need to get out of the house. When your kids are safely tucked into bed, head over to the kitchen to prepare a romantic evening meal with your partner.

Bring out the fancy plates, the scented candles, some sexy music and your most dashing outfit, and pretend to be at a fine dining restaurant. This can be enough to bring back your confidence, especially if you primarily stay at home to watch the kids.

Let these weekly dates take you back to the days when you were young and carefree. It’s simple dates like these that help remind both of you how in love you once were and how much more in love you can be with each other.

# Use technology to flirt

You and your partner might be at work all day, and this may not leave you much room to even chat on the phone. And when you do get home, you’d also need to spend time with the kids. What you can do is use technology to leave a sweet or sexy message for your partner. Simply saying that you miss your partner or that you can’t wait to see them can be enough to remind them of how much you care.

You can even send a sexy text message to get your partner all hot and bothered before coming home. You can explain in graphic detail just what you want to do as soon as the kids are asleep. With a phone camera or a webcam at your disposal, you can even snap a racy photo that you can share with your partner while they’re away!

# Get chores out of the way ASAP

Nothing is more unromantic than a big old mess when you arrive home. Once either of you get home, pick up after your kids as often as you can. Once your child reaches a certain age, they can be taught how to pack up after playing.

Cleaning up the house itself may not be romantic, but having a neat house to come home to gives you and your partner more freedom to move, and more free time to spare to do other things together.

# Take turns with a massage

This is something you can do even when your kids are around. While you’re spending time with your kid, whether it’s watching TV, helping them with homework or just watching as your kid is playing, take turns with your partner to do a quick foot massage or a backrub. Physical contact with your significant other is always a plus when it comes to strengthening your bond.

# Watch a steamy movie once the kids are asleep

The thing with kids is that after a long day of playing, they fall right into a deep, satisfying sleep. It’s this kind of sleep that should get you excited, because it means you can get away with making a little noise. Netflix has a ton of different movies that you can watch, and some of them even have an R rating. Get some recommendations, and put on a movie that’s sure to get you in the mood.

Some notable examples of sexy movies are The English Patient, Original Sin, Y Tu Mama Tambien and Cruel Intentions. And it’s not just the sex scenes that might get you all hot and bothered. There’s also the thrill of getting caught! But of course, do your best to prevent your kid from walking into the room while a full frontal scene is on. Save that for the birds and the bees talk.

# Have an entire day to yourselves

Once your kids are old enough to be left with a trusted babysitter or their grandparents, you can have an entire day with your partner. Just make sure to plan this well ahead of time to avoid a conflict of schedules. If you have a budget, you can check into a hotel and take advantage of the amenities ranging from massages, a swimming pool and even breakfast in bed.

For those who are on a tight budget, you can always just stay at home and pretend to be off on a romantic vacation. With the children off having fun with grandma and grandpa, mommy and daddy can have their own kind of fun.

# For the ladies, indulge in some sexy lingerie

A lot of women have issues with their appearance after they’ve had a kid. They think their partners won’t like the changes that pregnancy has brought upon their bodies. But stretch marks, a few extra love handles and a bit of weight are your badge of pride for bringing life into the world. To give you a confidence boost, get your hands on some sexy lingerie!

There are tons of styles that are flattering for all sorts of body shapes. There are corset-style teddies that help tuck the tummy. Long lacy nightgowns are also a good choice. Drop by your local lingerie shop and ask for some advice for finding the perfect set to seduce your partner.