8 Tips To Help You Avoid Awkward Silence During Date

Navigating those first few dates can be tricky, especially when you don’t know each other well. Questions like, “Will he feel intimidated if I bring up current events?” or “Will she think I’m insensitive if I make a religious joke?” often cross people’s minds. Overthinking what to say can lead to awkward silences. But remember, you’re not alone in feeling this way on a first date. If you find yourself feeling nervous and uncomfortable, just use these great conversation starters to avoid those dreaded lulls.

# Avoid Controversial Topics

While you may feel strongly about the financial system's downfall, believe passionately in pro-choice rights, or have opinions about the president, it’s best to save such discussions for when you know your date better. Your date could be deeply invested in hedge funds, have opposing views on abortion, or even be related to the president. To keep the atmosphere light, steer clear of topics that could lead to firm disagreements. Although spirited debates can be enjoyable, it’s wise to avoid pressure on the first date and wait until you have a better understanding of the other person. After all, the only thing more uncomfortable than an awkward silence is having your date leave in the middle of your meal.

# Steer Clear of the Past

It’s also a good idea to avoid discussing past relationships or personal history unless your date brings it up first. Probing into why their last relationship ended or their relationship with their parents isn’t exactly first-date material. These kinds of questions can lead to awkward pauses. Instead, shift the conversation to yourself if you’re comfortable sharing, but focus on happy memories and steer clear of any negative experiences.

# Acknowledge the Silence

You might be surprised at how well honesty can diffuse an awkward moment. Cut through the tension with a lighthearted comment like, “Well, that was awkward. Let’s try to avoid that, shall we? It’s a bit early for quiet time.” Then, move on to a new topic unrelated to what you were previously discussing.

# Talk About Siblings and Friends

When you’re struggling to keep the conversation going, bring up a topic related to siblings or friends. Most people feel comfortable talking about those closest to them, making it a safe and non-threatening subject. Whether it’s recounting a backpacking trip through Europe with a college roommate or attending your nephew’s retro-themed first birthday, there’s plenty of material to keep the conversation flowing.

# Discuss Travel Experiences

Talking about travel is an excellent way to spark a lively conversation. Ask your date about places they’ve visited and what inspired them during their travels. Share your own travel stories, whether it’s about the people you met, the food you tried, or the sights you saw. Even the most seasoned traveler will likely be interested in hearing about your experience eating fried scorpion in Siem Reap. If your date hasn’t traveled much, you can ask, “If you could drop everything right now and go on an adventure, where would you go and why?”

# Inquire About Achievements

People love talking about themselves, especially when it comes to their achievements and experiences. Whether they’re thriving in their career or facing challenges, everyone has something to say about what they do and where they hope to go. If discussing work isn’t appealing, ask about something you know they’re good at. For example, “Janine mentioned you’re a great chef and a master of Thai cuisine. What got you into cooking?”

# Weekend Activities

Discussing weekend activities is a great way to relieve tension and learn more about your date’s interests. Whether they enjoy rock climbing, going to the shooting range, or taking pole dancing classes, you’ll gain insights into their personality. It also provides plenty of conversation points for future dates. Start by sharing something you enjoy, like, “I recently completed level one of a Hatha Yoga course and can’t wait to start level two. What do you enjoy doing on weekends? Maybe you can suggest some places or activities for me once I’m done with my course.”

# Engage in an Activity Together

Another way to ease the pressure is to suggest an activity you can do together that doesn’t require much talking. Doing something together can break the ice and lead to more meaningful conversations. If you’re at a restaurant or bar, consider getting up to dance if there’s music playing. If you’re on a walk, suggest grabbing an ice cream or playing a fun word game.