8 Ways To Be Careful Of Who You Trust

Learning to be cautious about whom you trust takes time. Have you ever noticed how most children are eager to talk to almost anyone about anything? They share personal details and reveal their most intimate secrets without much hesitation. Even if you advise them to be careful about whom they trust, the warning often goes unheeded.

As we grow older, experience teaches us that while some people are trustworthy, many others are not. Even in committed relationships like marriages, betrayals of trust can be shocking and disorienting.

However, if we don’t learn to trust others and open our hearts to love, life becomes incredibly challenging. Few things are as painful as trusting someone only to discover they didn’t deserve it. When betrayed, it’s tough to believe in trust again. The key is to avoid repeating the same mistake.

# If they've done it before, they’re likely to do it again.

Human nature is all about habits. Sure, anyone can make a mistake, but if they genuinely regret it and are committed to not repeating it, a second chance might be worth considering. However, this depends on what they did, the context, and how you truly feel about it. The saying “Once a cheater, always a cheater” often rings true. If someone has betrayed your trust once, there's little to stop them from doing it again. Not everyone deserves your trust, and if someone repeats the same mistake, it’s a major red flag—time to walk away.

# Just because you wouldn’t betray their trust doesn’t mean they’ll do the same for you.

We often assume that others share our values and live by the same rules we do. However, the older I get, the more I realize this assumption is far from reality. Everyone operates by their own moral code. Just because you have a certain set of ethics doesn’t mean others will honor them.

# Secrets are no fun.

Even when you believe you’re confiding in someone, remember that the more sensitive the secret, the higher the chance it will be shared. Be cautious about who you trust with your secrets. Some people are experts at masking their deceitful, backstabbing tendencies.

# Never trust the drama queen.

Be wary of trusting someone who thrives on drama. The drama queen is more interested in stirring the pot than in being a true friend. If they have a juicy piece of information that will gain attention, they won’t hesitate to share it, even at your expense. Every group has a drama queen; you just need to figure out who it is. Drama queens often don’t realize the harm they cause. Under the pretense of concern, they may spread your deepest secrets, all while acting as if they’re doing you a favor.

# If someone gossips to you about others, they’re likely gossiping about you too.

The saying "be careful who you trust" is especially true when dealing with someone who badmouths others. If they’re betraying someone else’s trust by talking to you, it’s only a matter of time before they do the same to you. They don’t have separate rules for your friendship and theirs. Don’t trust someone who can’t keep another’s secret—you’re not an exception.

# Trust is NOT a two-way street.

Just because someone trusts you, it doesn’t mean you can trust them. If they’ve shared personal secrets with you, don’t assume you can share yours with them. Some people use self-disclosure to gain your trust, only to betray you later. The fact that you’re trustworthy can make them even more inclined to spill your secrets.

# Don’t assume ‘innocent until proven guilty.’

If people are telling you that someone is talking behind your back, take it seriously. We often believe we know better and resist accepting others’ warnings. Instead of blindly trusting, confront the situation and think logically.

# Don’t be naive.

Unfortunately, not everyone is inherently good. Many people have a darker side, so it’s crucial to be careful about whom you trust and depend on. Don’t assume that just because you’re honest and kind, you’re immune to being talked about. No one is exempt from the ugliness that exists, not even those who don’t deserve it.