11 Reasons Why Men Should All Be More Chode- Like

PUA, or "Pick-Up Artist," refers to individuals—typically men—who promote highly problematic and often sexist beliefs about men, women, and dating. Every so often, a new figure from this world emerges on social media, facing backlash for harmful messages, only for others to reappear, seemingly undeterred.

One concept popular within the PUA community is the idea of "being a chode." But what does this mean, and why do PUAs emphasize not being "chode-like"?

So, what exactly is a chode?

According to Dictionary.com, "chode" originates from "choad," a slang term dating back to around 1968. Originally referring to the penis, "choad" later became a term for someone foolish or inept—this is the usage PUAs focus on.

In PUA lingo, a "chode" is a man with "weak game," someone they believe lacks interest in or success with women. PUAs argue that chodes don’t want to be players and see this as either denial or a lack of effort to "improve their game."

In broader slang, "chode" can describe a certain body shape: short in length but wide in girth. PUAs, thus, believe that men who don’t objectify women are not masculine enough, linking masculinity with certain physical characteristics.

# The "chode" rejects "game" culture

It’s hard to imagine the self-centered worldview PUAs live in, assuming all women are part of their strange “game.” In reality, women are often preoccupied with everyday concerns—"Is the milk spoiled?" "When are the bills due?" "What supplies does my kid need for school?"—and are generally unaware that the guy at the bar is calculating his chances for the night based on how long he stares.

The chode isn’t concerned with "improving his game" because he knows women aren’t playing it. Instead, he believes he’ll naturally meet people who are compatible with him.

# The "chode" has his own interests

To PUAs, having hobbies unrelated to attracting women makes someone a "chode." For example, playing video games is seen as channeling "heroic" energy into virtual worlds instead of real life.

But life doesn’t always provide daily heroism. If you want to relax with a game, go for it—everything you do doesn’t need to revolve around dating.

# The "chode" believes he deserves love

PUAs argue that love must be earned through competition, enduring rejection, and constant effort to "win" women over.

However, this couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s okay if not every person likes you, and there’s no need to devote all your free time to pursuing as many people as possible. Focus on forming genuine connections with those you’re naturally drawn to—often, love appears just when you’re not looking.

# The "chode" respects his partner’s needs

PUAs think that listening to a partner’s wishes is unmasculine. But actually, ignoring your partner is the unmasculine choice. True masculinity involves respecting others, including your partner.

If someone tells you otherwise, ignore them—they’re likely just trying to tear others down to feel superior.

# The "chode" dislikes toxic masculinity

A chode doesn’t oppose masculinity itself but rejects toxic ideals of it—like "men don’t cry," "men shouldn’t take criticism from women," or "men need to be tough." Chodes oppose these because they see the harm they cause.

PUAs mock men who confront toxic masculinity or try to help women facing it. In their world, men can’t be friends with women unless they want something from them, making kindness purely self-serving.

# The "chode" respects intimacy

PUAs accuse chodes of being naive about sex because they actually respect it. In the PUA worldview, sex and other interactions are power struggles where one must remain guarded and competitive.

In reality, intimacy isn’t about competition; it’s about connection, whether with a friend-with-benefits or a soulmate. Chodes understand this, while PUAs continue to misunderstand.

# The "chode" acknowledges love’s struggles

Everyone faces difficulties in love, and venting about them is natural. Love can be challenging, whether because of unrequited feelings or obstacles in the way.

PUAs, however, view anyone who voices these struggles as weak since they avoid love altogether. But while love has challenges, it can also be incredibly rewarding, and those who shy away from it are missing out.

# The "chode" experiences heartbreak

Chodes don’t manipulate others by faking heartbreak; they simply feel it. When you lose someone you care about, it’s painful.

PUAs, on the other hand, see this as emotional manipulation. But acknowledging hurt and allowing yourself to feel it is natural, not manipulative.

# The "chode" thinks before acting

Chodes tend to think carefully before making choices, assessing whether risks are worth the rewards. PUAs, however, often ignore this consideration, valuing action over empathy, which can lead to harming others.

# The "chode" understands how relationships should work

PUAs have this partially right: chodes understand how relationships should function. They know that women aren’t simply waiting to be “picked up.” They’re busy living their lives, just like anyone else.

Chodes approach relationships more naturally, without reducing every interaction to a game of seduction.

# The "chode" believes in soulmates

Chodes believe in the possibility of a “soulmate” and that there’s nothing wrong with that! Some people are romantics, while others prefer a single lifestyle—there’s no one way to view love, as long as it’s healthy.

Believing in a soulmate and valuing meaningful connection doesn’t make someone less masculine—it simply makes them true to themselves.

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