Try These 10 Things To Calm Yourself Down In The Heat Of Battle

We're all familiar with that intense woman whose eyes seem to reflect utter chaos, as if all hell has broken loose. Yes, the very same woman who struggles to find her calm and seems perpetually engulfed in anger. Adding to the complexity, some men possess an uncanny knack for pushing our buttons until we lose all sense of composure. The issue compounds as it evolves into a self-fulfilling prediction. When our words go unheard, our volume escalates.

Before we realize it, we're caught up in a whirlwind of frustration, exasperation, chasing the guy around town like an escapee from a madhouse. But we're not teenagers anymore, and the more we allow a guy to drive us to the brink of "crazy eyes," the more harm we inflict on our self-perception and self-worth.

The encouraging news is that, no, we aren't truly crazy; we're merely permitting someone in our life to provoke us into reacting in a chaotic manner. To safeguard our self-esteem, we have two alternatives: either leave the situation or discover how to regain our composure.

If we opt to remain, it's crucial to recognize that the only way to halt this cycle is by introducing a disruption. Naturally, we can't dictate his conduct; we can only transform our own.

# Go for a walk

When your temper flares, there's a genuine physiological reaction occurring – this implies that it's not merely a mental phenomenon. Anger or frustration triggers the release of a hormone known as adrenaline. This surge of adrenaline is likely accountable for the intensity of your agitated expression.

However, you can counteract the adrenaline response by taking a walk or engaging in activities that elevate your heart rate. As a result, you'll observe an immediate return to a more typical heart rate and breathing pattern. This allows you to regain control over the anger that's attempting to dominate your emotions.

# Smile

When you express a smile, specific facial muscles stimulate the release of serotonin, a hormone recognized for inducing positive emotions. This phenomenon makes it exceedingly difficult to retain feelings of anger. In reality, whenever you experience anxiety, try gifting yourself a broad smile.

Even if it lasts only a brief moment, sometimes a mere second of smiling is sufficient to create a powerful impact, often providing you with the necessary jolt to ease your agitation.

# Close your eyes and think of your safe place

Each of us possesses a personal sanctuary where we discover tranquility. In moments of escalating anger and dwindling composure, shut your eyes and envision that secure haven that soothes your frayed nerves.

Seek out a serene environment, gently close your eyes, and immerse yourself in the emotions associated with your safe haven. If you remain there for a sufficient duration, the anger and vexation will gradually dissipate, enabling you to reorient yourself and regain your grounding.

# Remove yourself from the situation

Irrespective of your current location, make an exit. Often, simply distancing yourself from the circumstances and redirecting your attention toward another task or interest will dispel the anger you're experiencing.

Trying to make him listen right then and there might prove futile, so take a deliberate step back, engage in an alternative activity, and eventually, you'll discover that the solution for responding in a more constructive manner becomes more evident.

# Don’t fall into his traps

Men who possess the skill of inciting intense emotions in women are well-versed in their triggers. When I first encountered my husband, he shared with me one day, "I really hope you don't turn out to be crazy." Upon my prodding, he elaborated, "All the girls I've dated in the past seemed to be crazy." After a brief pause, I posed the question, "Were they already acting erratically when you met them, or did it happen only after being with them?"

Certain men possess the ability to manipulate your emotions expertly. It's crucial not to succumb to this trap. Recognize that he might employ precisely chosen words to wound your feelings, belittle your significance, and intentionally elicit the reaction he desires. He could even attempt to shift the blame onto you to make you feel guilty.

Become attuned to the methods he employs to provoke your emotional turmoil, and make a conscious decision to let it slide off your shoulders. Before long, you'll realize that when he no longer succeeds in eliciting a reaction from you, he will cease such behavior.

# Put the phone down!

How did we manage before the era of texting and cellphones? It's quite probable that our interactions were smoother. Prior to initiating a battle of words through texts by sending a message that provokes a reaction from him, causing tensions to escalate, consider setting your phone aside.

You'll likely realize that the hurtful things you effortlessly type on your phone's keyboard are things you wouldn't easily say face-to-face. While engrossed in texting, you might not even be fully absorbing the actual content. The optimal course of action is to stow away your phone and refrain from picking it up until the storm has subsided.

# Do some yoga

Enrolling in a yoga class isn't a necessity. If you possess a mat and are familiar with a few poses, go ahead and start. Yoga serves as a means to channel positive energy through your body, reinstating a sense of equilibrium. Simply assuming a position like child's pose can serve as a release for many individuals. When he's driving you to the edge, grab your yoga mat, head to the gym, or locate a serene spot within your home where you can retreat and restore your inner balance.

# Make a list of the things you love about him to pull out

When emotions surge, rational thinking tends to elude us. During moments when your feelings toward him aren't clouded by upset, take the opportunity to compile a list detailing the kind gestures he's extended to you or the aspects of his personality that you genuinely appreciate.

For a swift calming effect, when you sense anger building, take deliberate steps to prevent it. Take out your list and repeatedly read through the ten points you've noted, allowing them to reframe your current perspective.

Recalling the qualities you admire about him can often overpower the aspects that are currently triggering frustration, serving as a constructive mental shift.

# Let him go

Certain men tend to blow things out of proportion whenever they encounter opinions they disagree with, leading them to withdraw and distance themselves. This pattern can drive any woman to the brink of exasperation. If your partner consistently escalates conflicts by evading, shutting down, or physically removing himself, it might be best to release your grip.

You'd probably find that he'll contemplate his actions if you decide to discontinue discussing the matter. Insecure men struggle with handling criticism and often avoid listening to it.

In most instances, if you choose to let them go, they'll find themselves ruminating on the situation, questioning why you're not pursuing them for resolution. By ceasing the chase, you'll likely witness a halt in their flight as well.

# Play the “is this real” game

If your relationship tends to devolve into a pattern of pursuit and evasion, it's prudent to establish a strategy for navigating those moments when tensions soar. Introduce the "is this real" game as a method of communication. What does this entail? Essentially, it's a game where you pose questions followed by the prompt, "Real or not real?"

For example, if you're upset because he arrived home later than promised when he had initially claimed he'd be early, you might inquire, "You mentioned you'd be back early, real or not real?"

By focusing on objective questions that lack emotional charge, you'll elicit the responses you're seeking, allow him to absorb your concerns, and ultimately quell any escalating tension. This approach can help rein in any excessive emotional reactions.