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15 Most Important Things To Know For Your First Relationship
By: Priyanka Maheshwari Sat, 12 Aug 2023 1:03:34
The initial experience of being in a relationship brings forth a surge of emotions. It marks the first instance of sharing profound feelings with another person. Rather than merely entertaining a crush, genuine mutual sentiments are involved.
These emotions are accompanied by certain presumptions. Upon entering a relationship, there's a tendency to anticipate a particular course of events.
Sources of relationship ideals might include television, movies, literature, friends, or parental figures. While these sources are enjoyable to admire, they don't necessarily align with reality.
Even real-life relationships you've witnessed aren't the most suitable reference point because you and your partner are distinct individuals.
In a first relationship, it's beneficial to release any preconceived notions about its nature. It's important to let go of aspirations for an idealized couple dynamic. There's no need to model your relationship after celebrity couples or the picturesque images seen on social media platforms.
Activities such as spending holidays together, constant hand-holding, or being inseparable throughout each day are not obligatory. This relationship shouldn't encompass your entire life, even though it might strongly appear that way.
A first relationship is exactly that: a first. Chances are, you'll encounter numerous relationships in the future, and even if, by a rare chance, this does end up being your last relationship, treating it as such isn't the most constructive approach.
# Find a balance
There's a popular jest that when individuals enter a relationship, they seemingly vanish from the radar of their family and friends. Effectively, they become untraceable.
While it's common knowledge that they're spending time with their newfound significant other, it's crucial that things don't evolve in this manner. If a suitable equilibrium between one's partner, friends, and family isn't established, the relationship can lose its spark quite swiftly.
# You probably won’t end up with this person
Certainly, you might have entertained the idea of a future together, perhaps even marriage. However, it's worth noting that having those thoughts doesn't necessarily preclude the possibility of a future together, but the statistical likelihood might not be high.
Nonetheless, this doesn't imply that your relationship should be treated lightly. Immerse yourself in the relationship, relish each instance, and allow things to progress naturally. Just embrace the journey and let it unfold organically.
# Don’t try to change them
Pay attention: there could be aspects of their personality that you aren't particularly fond of, yet this doesn't equate to altering them.
Consider a situation where you attempt to encourage your boyfriend to attend college, but he ultimately decides to discontinue after a short while. If he lacks the desire to pursue it, your efforts to sway his opinion won't likely yield results. The crux is, attempting to modify someone who lacks the intent for change is generally fruitless.
# Don’t argue over text
Texting serves well for simple communication with your partner, like coordinating plans for their arrival or discussing pizza plans. However, important discussions, especially disagreements, should never take place over text messages.
Whenever you have something significant to address, it's always advisable to have the conversation face-to-face. Relying on texting for such matters tends to exacerbate the situation rather than resolve it.
# Don’t change yourself
Embrace your authentic self; don't mold yourself into what you believe your partner desires. They are drawn to you for specific reasons, so altering your essence isn't necessary.
Your opinions and values form an integral part of your identity, and altering them solely to match someone else's can be counterproductive. While compromise is possible, your fundamental essence should remain unchanged.
# Communication is everything
Genuinely, communication is paramount. To ensure the longevity of your relationship, maintaining an open dialogue with your partner is crucial. Neglecting this can lead to your emotions and ideas accumulating until they erupt into a significant issue.
Allowing emotions to boil over and confronting your partner in an explosive manner rarely results in a positive outcome. Instead, if there's something troubling you, address it through conversation.
# Set boundaries
You possess individual boundaries that align with your comfort zone. In the course of your journey, you'll often test these boundaries to ascertain their extent.
Perhaps you're at ease with public displays of affection (PDA), or perhaps you find them uncomfortable. Regardless of the specific boundaries you establish, it's essential to openly communicate them with your partner.
# Try new things together
Embrace the thrill of your inaugural relationship! Venture into novel experiences side by side. Engage in activities like paintballing, visit amusement parks, or explore hobby farms together.
Rather than confining yourselves to prolonged moments of cuddling in bed, seize the opportunity to discover the world in each other's company. After all, your partner is a companion with whom you can explore life's horizons.
# Don’t expect the sex to be mind-blowing
However, this doesn't imply that you should remain in a relationship where your sexual needs aren't being met. Especially if both of you are navigating your first experiences together, it's natural for it to take time to establish a level of comfort and intimacy on a sexual plane.
Furthermore, there's a learning curve in determining what brings satisfaction and what doesn't. Therefore, if your initial sexual encounter doesn't align with your expectations, there's no need for concern. Patience is key, as developing this aspect of your relationship takes time and exploration.
# Don’t invade their privacy
This is a significant matter. When feelings for someone arise, insecurities can follow, leading to a desire to uncover every aspect of their lives, particularly their digital activities. However, it's important not to initiate any form of snooping.
Snooping often leads to discovering what you were searching for, reinforcing any doubts. If you suspect your partner of infidelity, it's far more productive to engage in a direct conversation with them rather than resorting to invasive searches.
# You don’t belong to each other
A crucial lesson to grasp in your inaugural relationship is that commitment to each other doesn't entail ownership over one another.
While you share a connection and relish shared moments, both of you remain distinct individuals with your own preferences, hobbies, and interests.
There's no obligation for you to adopt their pursuits, just as they need not embrace yours. Furthermore, being in a relationship doesn't grant you the authority to exert control over them due to your partnership status.
# Maintain your own identity
Make sure to discover your own sense of security independently from the relationship. In initial relationships, there's a tendency to become interdependent, losing individuality in each other.
Direct your attention towards your personal interests. Immerse yourself in your hobbies and allocate time for self-care. Remember, your identity isn't solely shaped by your relationship or your significant other.
# Don’t be afraid to have real conversations
It's important not to disregard things that trouble you. While you may wish to avoid causing conflict or arguments, it's worth recognizing that a meaningful discussion doesn't necessarily have to escalate into a fight.
You have the opportunity to express your feelings candidly without reacting excessively. If you choose to set aside current concerns, this could establish a habit that eventually results in harbored resentment.
# Trust yourself
If your instincts signal something isn't right, have faith in them. Your choices are under your control. Refrain from placing complete reliance on an initial relationship.
You need not anticipate its conclusion, but rather have confidence in your emotions. If you're outgrowing the relationship, that's perfectly acceptable. Similarly, if you aspire to deepen your connection, that's also perfectly acceptable.
# Maintain your deal breakers
You might perceive deal breakers as a sign of being overly selective, but if there are aspects you're certain you can't negotiate on, stand by them.
Whether it's important for you to be with someone who aligns with your religious beliefs, political perspectives, or is a non-smoker, there's no need to deviate from your stance.