9 Big Signs The Girl You Like Is Using You

Are you starting to feel that the girl you're interested in might be using you? Maybe you've had this thought before but brushed it off because she seems perfect in every way.

She could check off all the qualities on your "ideal partner" list, and she might even say she likes you. You two might already be dating. But if this connection feels strained and leaves you feeling uncertain and less confident, it could be a sign that something's off.

Sometimes, you meet someone who seems to fit your vision of a perfect partner perfectly. Yet, if you sense confusion or doubt early on, it might mean she's either taking advantage of your feelings or keeping you on hold.

So, how can you tell if the girl you like is genuinely interested or just using you?

# She Frequently Asks for Space

She often says she needs space, even though you haven’t seen her in weeks. Or maybe she’s comfortable being clingy, but when you do the same, she’s quick to back off. Some days, she may be all over you, only to go completely silent afterward.

While a little mystery can be intriguing, someone who genuinely cares won’t play games like this. If she truly likes you, she’ll enjoy having you around, even if she's independent. It could be that she’s keeping her options open.

# Acts Like Just a Friend

Does she sometimes act more like a friend than a girlfriend? She might say she likes you but mentions things are moving too fast for her.

It’s wonderful if she sees you as her best friend—love and friendship are a great pair. But if she only treats you as a friend, it may be a sign she’s using you for attention without wanting to reciprocate.

# Her Friends Don’t Know You

A clear sign of being used is if she keeps you separate from her social circle. When you encounter her friends, notice if she acts awkward around them despite usually being outgoing.

If you see her with her friends and they don’t recognize you, that’s a red flag.

# Your Relationship Feels Secretive

Are you officially dating, or does it only feel that way when it’s just the two of you? Does she introduce you as a friend, or seem embarrassed to be seen with you?

A girl who truly cares won’t keep you a secret—she’ll be proud to show you off. But if she’s only using you, she’ll acknowledge the relationship privately.

# Her Friends Take Advantage of You Too

If her friends are also treating you like a convenient source of favors, this is a sign. When you’re around her friends, do they only interact with you to ask for something?

This could mean she’s using you, and her friends are in on it too.

# She Avoids Defining the Relationship

Labels aren’t necessary if both people agree, but if you’ve made it clear you want one and she keeps dodging the conversation, that’s concerning.

She may be genuinely unsure of her feelings, but it’s unfair for her to lead you on. If she continues to avoid labeling your relationship, it could mean she’s just postponing a rejection.

# She Talks About Her Complicated Love Life

Does she often share tales of past heartbreaks? Some people seek out relationships just to feel validated and reassured.

If she’s constantly looking for sympathy or validation, she may be using you as a replacement for her past or simply needs someone to make her feel desirable.

# She Only Misses You When She’s Lonely

Does she only reach out when she’s feeling lonely or can’t sleep? She might ask you to come over for comfort or only show passion in physical moments. This could mean you’re just filling a void.

If she truly likes you, she’ll want to spend time with you regardless of her emotional state. If she’s hot and cold, she may be playing mind games, using you when it suits her.

# She Controls the Relationship

If she decides when you talk, meet, or spend time together, it’s likely she’s calling all the shots. A balanced relationship requires both people to give and take.

When she’s only taking, it’s hard to build anything meaningful.

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