10 Ways To Make Small Talk Easily

The universally dreaded consequence of long car trips and work parties is inevitably finding yourself engaged in small talk with someone you hardly know. Mastering the art of small talk can save you a lot of trouble and unnecessary awkwardness.

While most interactions with strangers or colleagues aren’t expected to be deep and meaningful, surely there's more to discuss than just the weather, right?

Being adept at conversation is a more significant life skill than you might realize. Not only does it make you more engaging to talk to, but it can also help you attract people.

We've all been there, initiating small talk as our default conversation starter when engaging with someone we're not very close to. However, small talk can be a nightmare if you're not good at it.

We all want to skip the awkwardness of small talk and dive straight into more meaningful topics. But you can't reach that point without mastering the art of small talk first. When you know how to engage in small talk, you can converse with anyone, even your crush! It becomes advantageous when you're trying to get someone to notice you or when you're looking to make new friends.

Moreover, this skill makes you a more interesting and charismatic person to converse with. Who wouldn’t want to engage with someone like that?

# Shift the focus onto the other person

It's almost universally true: people love talking about themselves. While they may not be comfortable sharing their deepest thoughts with a stranger, most people are more than happy to discuss their feelings about a situation, what they're currently involved in, or their future plans.

Parents and grandparents love discussing their children, university students enjoy talking about their studies, and many people like sharing details about their professions.

If you find mastering the skill of small talk challenging, try shifting the focus from yourself to the other person. Ask them questions and keep the conversation flowing.

# Remember details, including names

Often, the people we engage in small talk with are individuals we encounter daily for brief periods. One of the most effective ways to turn these encounters into meaningful connections, without necessarily engaging in lengthy conversations, is to remember small details about the person.

Being attentive to details makes you an exceptional listener, and people appreciate someone who pays attention. It demonstrates that you remembered them well enough for significant details to stick.

While learning names might seem daunting, once you know a couple of facts about someone (for example, "Reggie really likes baseball and just adopted a golden retriever"), you'll be surprised how quickly you start remembering names.

# Share some information about yourself

While it's essential to keep the conversation focused on the person you're speaking with, nobody wants to talk to a complete stranger.

For this reason, it's also important to share some quick facts about yourself. Remember, conversations are a two-way street, so it shouldn't only be the other person opening up.

Let them get to know you, and take it from there. Besides, you never know; you might find something in common and bond over a shared interest! So, if you want to know how to make small talk, share something about yourself.

# Avoid over-sharing

While it's crucial to share some information about yourself, it's equally important not to overdo it. You don't want to reveal all your secrets during your first interaction with someone.

Sharing some information about yourself is important, but sharing too much information—or the wrong kind of information—can kill a conversation faster than almost anything else. Keep facts about yourself brief and to the point, and avoid discussing any sensitive topics when engaging in small talk.

They don't need to know about all your past relationships or family drama right away. Regardless of your goal with this person, whether you're trying to build a friendship or simply engaging in conversation, keep the important information to yourself, at least for the time being.

# Know when silence is appropriate

While small talk is the norm in most parts of our lives, there are situations where small talk isn't appropriate—elevator rides or commuter trains being prime examples. Even though learning how to make small talk is an essential life skill, you don't have to use it with every stranger you come across.

There are scenarios where forcing a conversation isn't necessary, and that's okay! It's crucial to be aware of these social cues, as you don't want to make those around you uncomfortable.

# Put away your phone

This is a crucial tip for making successful small talk. It's considered polite not to be distracted by your phone when talking to someone. It shows that you're interested in getting to know them and in having a conversation with them.

However, if you're always on your phone, they'll feel neglected and ignored. They won't want to engage in conversation with you under these circumstances. So, put away your phone and focus on talking to them, and nothing else, if you want to leave a positive impression.

# Balance listening and speaking

Remember, conversations are a two-way street. Mastering the art of making small talk involves finding the perfect balance between listening and speaking. If you listen too much, they'll feel like they're the only one contributing to the conversation.

However, if you talk too much, you'll be seen as selfish and inconsiderate. So, finding this balance is crucial to being a good conversationalist.

# Match their energy

Similar to texting, matching their energy is just as crucial in learning how to make small talk. There's nothing worse than talking to someone with a dull and dry energy.

So, if the person you're talking to is very upbeat and enthusiastic, you need to match that without making it seem forced or like you're mocking them. What's important is that you keep up with their conversational tone and make it seem like you're enjoying talking to them.

# Keep things light

Since you're here reading this, it's important to keep things light. After all, that's what small talk is mostly about. You can't skip steps and start asking them about their past relationships or their family.

Keep it light and casual, and you can even make them laugh! Keeping the conversation simple and light at the same time is crucial. This also means steering clear of negative and heavy topics, even if you're having a particularly tough week.

# Compliment them

Compliments work wonders in making small talk, which is why you should use this to your advantage. Tell them how great they look that day, or if you already know the basics about them, you can compliment their passion or personality mid-conversation.

They'll appreciate this coming from you, and it'll also catch them off guard. More importantly, compliments are great ice-breakers when you're at a loss for what to say.