5 Reasons Why Fighting In A Relationship Is Important And How It Makes Relationship Stronger

You might believe that fighting is the worst thing a couple can do. It’s certainly unpleasant, often stressful, and emotionally draining. However, understanding why conflict is crucial in a relationship may feel counterintuitive, but no strong relationship can thrive without disagreements.

Many people try to avoid conflicts at all costs, especially major ones. It can be intimidating to address something sensitive without knowing how it will turn out. Yet, facing these uncomfortable moments is essential for building a happy and successful relationship.

Regardless of how similar or different two people may be, they won't agree on everything. The way couples handle disagreements ultimately determines the strength and future of their relationship.

While arguing can feel daunting, avoiding conflicts altogether is far more damaging. Dodging difficult topics or potential fights only breeds tension and resentment, creating distance between partners.

You might think that steering clear of conflict is the safest approach, but in reality, avoidance causes more harm than calmly addressing an issue from the start.

Most conflicts help resolve underlying issues. If these issues aren't discussed, they remain unresolved, leading to bigger problems later on. Suppressing concerns builds resentment, which can escalate into larger, more damaging fights.

When issues are avoided for too long or brought up without a constructive approach, frustration and anger can unintentionally grow. This often leads to unnecessary arguments that are more intense than they need to be.

Fights are often feared because they are handled in ways that don't lead to mutual understanding. They can become self-centered, focusing on hostility rather than achieving a solution that satisfies both partners.

# Competing

This is one of the least effective ways to manage conflict. People who approach conflict with this mindset treat it like a competition. They adopt a "win-lose" mentality and feel the need to come out on top at all costs, viewing their partner as an adversary.

This approach is unhealthy. Instead, you should see your relationship as a partnership—a team effort. It's not about "me vs. you," but "us" working together. When people compete in conflicts, they often engage in damaging behaviors such as name-calling, verbal attacks, or shouting, none of which are productive or healthy.

# Avoiding

It may seem like avoiding conflict is a good strategy, but in reality, conflict is necessary in a relationship—it's all about how it's handled. If you're constantly avoiding disagreements, you're not addressing your issues. Instead, you're burying them and hoping they go away on their own.

However, this never works. Over time, unresolved issues build up and eventually reach a breaking point. Avoiding conflict is not a healthy approach. The word "fighting" has a negative connotation, but reframing it as "managing conflict" offers a healthier perspective, making it less tempting to avoid entirely.

# Accommodating

Accommodation occurs when one person consistently gives in to the other during conflicts. For example, if you're arguing and one person says, "Fine, you win. Have it your way," that's accommodation.

While it may seem like a quick way to resolve a disagreement, it's unhealthy—especially if the same person is always the one giving in. This creates an imbalance of power, where one person holds too much control and the other continually sacrifices their own needs, which is not a healthy dynamic.

# Compromising

Compromising is a more effective conflict management style. It involves both partners giving up something in order to reach a middle ground. Each person understands that it's not always possible for everyone to be completely satisfied, so they settle for meeting halfway.

This style is common among emotionally intelligent individuals who prioritize fairness. While it's not perfect—since neither partner is fully content—it allows both people to be at least partially satisfied.

# Collaborating

The most effective approach to managing conflict is collaboration. In this style, both partners view themselves as a team, working together to find a solution that benefits them both. They genuinely want their partner's happiness just as much as their own.

This style requires a lot of empathy, patience, and the ability to dig deep into the real issues at hand. It also demands self-awareness, so you can clearly communicate your perspective. While it's challenging for many people, collaboration leads to the healthiest resolutions.

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