4 Ways To Master The Art Of Positive Self Talk

Consider this quote on positive self-talk:

“Just as food nourishes the body, self-talk nourishes the mind. Don't allow junk thoughts to linger in your head.” - Maddy Malhotra, Author

We think in words, and these words can either empower or limit us, depending on our approach.

You've likely heard the saying that we are our own worst critics, and for many, it's true. While some self-criticism can be beneficial by motivating us to improve, there's a significant difference between saying, "I need to eat more vegetables" and "I'm a fat slob."

Excessive self-criticism, in the form of negative self-talk, makes us dwell on our failures and mistakes rather than focusing on small areas for improvement.

Moments of negative self-talk, like "I'm so stupid" or "I'm not good enough," are self-destructive and rob us of happiness and self-fulfillment.

Practicing negative self-talk can be truly damaging to self-esteem and self-worth, leading to higher levels of stress, unhappiness, and even depression over time.

Conversely, positive self-talk is the antidote to self-destruction, offering both healing and empowerment. It's an internal dialogue that not only shapes your attitude but also enhances your feelings of self-worth. Positive self-talk fosters self-belief and confidence in your abilities.

# Write Down Your Self-Talk

To transform negative self-talk into positive self-talk, you first need to recognize what you’re saying to yourself.

Every day, we have an overwhelming number of thoughts – approximately 50,000-60,000. It’s impossible to be aware of each one, especially those about ourselves, mostly because we don't pay close attention. That’s why it’s essential to start doing so.

Whenever you catch yourself thinking something negative, write it down in a notebook that you keep with you. Continue this practice for at least a week to compile a comprehensive list of the negative things you say about yourself.

# Observe and Assess Your Self-Talk

Over time, you’ll start noticing patterns in what triggers your negative self-talk, enabling you to manage them better.

By observing your self-talk, you become aware of how your thoughts influence your emotions and actions. Review the list from the previous step and write positive statements next to each negative one. Challenge the validity of the negative statements and regularly review the positive ones. This practice helps you transform your negative self-talk into positive affirmations.

# Reframe Your Thinking

This step can be challenging because it might initially feel insincere. However, reframing negative thoughts into positive ones prevents self-destructive thinking.

# Avoid Absolutes Like “I Always” and “I Never”

These phrases are harmful because they impose limitations on your ability to change and grow. When practicing self-talk, question absolutes. Ask yourself how you arrived at a particular thought or consider a better way to overcome a challenge. This questioning technique is proactive, reducing negative thoughts and providing you with various positive responses.

This last practice of replacement is crucial for limiting negative thoughts and encouraging positive self-talk. Learn to replace negative messages with positive and empowering ones.