6 Reasons You Are Not Feeling Good Enough

We inhabit a world that can be detrimental to our self-esteem. Our culture often imposes certain appearance and behavior standards, along with the pressure to achieve financial success and popularity in order to feel self-worth. However, it's essential to recognize that these standards are not absolute truths.

If you wish to overcome the fear of inadequacy, the journey begins within yourself. In other words, it commences in your own mind. The truth is, everything is subjective.

Your self-perception is largely shaped by your thoughts about how you measure up to societal expectations, whether they come from your family, religion, peers, or the media. By shedding these mental constructs, you can boost your self-confidence significantly.

# You have hidden core beliefs that are running the show

Most people think that their conscious minds are really in charge of our lives. But that’s not true. It’s actually your subconscious mind that is in the driver’s seat.

In fact, the subconscious mind drives about 95% of our thoughts and actions, whereas the conscious mind accounts for only about 5%. And remember, most of the time we’re not even aware of our subconscious thoughts and beliefs.

These thoughts are often formed when we were children from what our parents tell us about ourselves and the experiences we have had with other people. So to say that they have an influence on the way we see ourselves and the world around us is a bit of an understatement.

# Your inner voice is actually critical and judgmental

Because you might have been subconsciously programmed in a negative way early in life, your own inner voice became critical and judgmental as a result.

For example, if your parents continually told you that you were lazy, dumb, and worthless, you’re going to eventually believe it yourself. Their voices become your own inner voice as you grow older.

This is similar to programming a computer or brainwashing someone. The more you hear a message, the more you’ll believe it—whether it’s true or not. So, you might have just learned to be critical of yourself.

# You surround yourself with critical people

As the saying goes, “Birds of a feather flock together.” In other words, most of the people we have in our lives are pretty similar to us.

Happy people tend to be friends with other happy people. Depressed people are friends with depressed people.

So, if you’re critical of yourself, you might be attracting other negative and critical people into your life. It could be because that’s what you’re used to, and it feels familiar to you.

But it’s bad enough that you are critical of yourself. You don’t need other people around you being critical of you too. So, their negativity reinforces your own internal negativity, and it’s just a vicious feedback cycle that you get into.

# Your main caregiver couldn’t give you stability or safety

As a child, we expect that our parents or main caregiver will love us and feel safe. After all, that is the purpose of a parent. But not all people are lucky enough to have a good childhood.

In fact, a lot of people grow up in negligent or even abusive homes.

They might be neglected or emotionally and physically abused. When your caregiver acts that way, it creates the subconscious thoughts of, “I’m not good enough.”

The reason that these thoughts are created as a result is that the child is thinking “My mommy or daddy would take care of me if I was good enough. But they don’t, so there must be something wrong with me.”

Of course, that’s not true. But if you had that kind of childhood, you might have internalized those thoughts because your parents didn’t treat you with kindness, love, and respect.

# You didn’t get enough “attachment” as a kid

Children need to emotionally bond with their parents or caregivers. It’s biologically wired into our brains to have human attachment and love.

But maybe your parents neglected you a lot or just weren’t around very much. Or maybe you had a parent *or both* who abandoned you.

Regardless of what it is, if you didn’t have the love you needed growing up, you were starved for emotional connection.

As a result, this was internalized in your heart and subconscious mind.

# You experienced strong trauma in the past

There are many reasons a person might experience trauma. It could be because of what we discussed earlier neglect or abuse from your parents. Or it could be other things.

Perhaps you were sexually abused as a child, or an adult, by a friend or family member, and that has taken a huge hit on your self-esteem.