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9 Signs You Don't Stand Up For Yourself In A Relationship

By: Priyanka Maheshwari Thu, 22 June 2023 2:13:30

9 Signs You Don't Stand Up for Yourself in a Relationship

You will soon realize that consistently being too accommodating not only has negative effects on you but also on the relationship over time. When faced with an overpowering or manipulative partner, the most effective approach is to acquire the skill of asserting yourself within the relationship.

Before delving into that, let's examine the indicators that suggest you lack assertiveness in your relationship. It's common for individuals to have a subjective perception of themselves. While you may believe that you assert yourself in your relationship, engaging in any of these behaviors indicates otherwise.

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# You never say no

Your partner consistently assumes control over the relationship, dictating your actions and their timing, while you never refuse, regardless of your personal desires.

In fact, even if your partner were to request something illegal, you might comply without hesitation, as the concept of saying "no" seems to have disappeared from your vocabulary entirely.

# You are a people-pleaser

Certainly, it's a wonderful feeling to bring happiness to others, showcasing your selflessness. This quality speaks volumes about your character.

However, there reaches a point where your acts of kindness transform from genuine gestures to allowing yourself to be taken advantage of. If you permit your partner to exploit your kindness merely to please them, it signifies a lack of self-assertion within the relationship.

# You allow yourself to get yelled at

Perhaps your partner subjects you to verbal, emotional, mental, or even physical abuse. During these instances of abuse, they raise their voice and shout at you, and yet you remain silent, enduring it without speaking up.

Even if the behavior doesn't technically classify as abuse, yelling and screaming are not healthy forms of communication. It is crucial to address and put an end to such behavior. However, if you fail to do so, it indicates a significant issue.

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# You don’t talk back

When your partner disrespects you, your natural inclination is to remain silent. You refrain from defending yourself or responding to their actions. Instead, you passively endure the situation, patiently waiting for the turbulent episode to subside before resuming communication.

# You don’t draw boundaries

Within a healthy relationship, both partners establish boundaries. A boundary is a communicated agreement that defines limits and sets expectations between you and your partner.

It conveys a clear message that certain behaviors are unacceptable and will not be tolerated. If you consistently fail to establish and assert your boundaries, it is evident that you are not effectively advocating for yourself in your relationship.

# You fear conflict

It's common for people to dislike conflict, and it's understandable if you feel the same way. However, there exists a distinction between simply disliking conflict and fearing it to the extent of avoiding it at any cost.

An individual who stands up for themselves does not shy away from conflict because they hold self-respect in high regard.

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# You fear rejection

Similar to how people generally dislike conflict, the majority also find rejection undesirable. Experiencing rejection often leads to a feeling of wanting to retreat and disappear.

When you assert yourself in a relationship, you become comfortable with the possibility of rejection because you understand that it is not a reflection of your personal worth, but rather a reflection of the other person's perspective or circumstances.

# You always give in


During conflicts with your partner, you consistently surrender to their wishes. This behavior may stem from a desire to simply resolve the conflict and put an end to it, or it might be driven by the fear of facing unbearable consequences for not complying. Regardless, the outcome remains the same: you never attain what you want, and you always yield to your partner's desires.

# You feel comfortable being submissive


While you may recognize on a rational level that you shouldn't constantly yield or act as a doormat, there exists a part of you that finds comfort in that role.

In fact, you might even derive satisfaction from being submissive to your partner. Perhaps having a dominant role is not inherent to your personality, leading you to allow that dynamic to unfold naturally in your relationship.

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