Some Ways To Help You Face Regret And Deal With It

Learning how to deal with regret and face reality is a hard thing for most of us, but it can be done in healthy ways. Face reality with these steps.

Regret is a fickle thing. We all harbor some. Even those of us who live with no regrets, still have small moments or words we wish we could take back. But we can also learn how to deal with regret in a healthy way.

I regret some of my choices like opening credit cards at 17, not being grateful to my parents as a teenager, and even being too lazy to get things done last week that I have to rush around to do now.

No matter how much you know the truth, regret follows you. Yes, if I didn’t make some of my bad choices when I was younger maybe I wouldn’t have met the love of my life and been so happy this year. But you always wonder if you would be stronger, more successful, or better off if you did something differently.

# Mistakes happen

Regrets of all sizes come with the idea that we will never do them again. We say the negative outcome and make a promise that it will never happen again, but if this is a pattern, it likely will happen again.

I told myself I’d never again fall for a certain type of guy or that I wouldn’t charge unnecessary purchases on my credit cards, but I didn’t live up to those promises. That only made me feel worse. I knew I regretted it before, yet I did it again.

Can you see how this doesn’t help? Instead of promising to never do something again like stay out all night drinking or reaching out to your ex, think of useful and practical ways to achieve what you hope and avoid those regrets in the future.

# Look to the future

Regret is all about the past. We wonder what would have been. We think back at what we could have done differently. But, releasing all that energy on thoughts that make no true difference won’t help you deal with the regret you’re facing now.

Look to the future. What can this regret lead you to? Can it teach you something? Will your past choice alter your future ones? How?

# Break your patterns

Regrets are often caused by patterns or bad habits. Maybe you regret something you did when you were drinking but continue to only do those things when you’re drinking.

Break that pattern by paying attention to your behavior and what leads to regret. This doesn’t necessarily mean you must quit drinking, but give yourself a drink limit. Have a friend remind you to take it easy, pace yourself, and drink water. If you know you’re emotional or at risk of doing something you’ll regret, think about how this is your chance to change.

# Own up to it

So many people claim they have no regrets. That sounds all good and well, but it is rarely true. Many people regret spending too much time working or acting out too much in their youth.

These are things we tell ourselves were purposeful. Someone might say, yeah, I missed all my kid’s baseball games but I worked hard so they could go to college without debt. Even so, it doesn’t mean they don’t regret spending so much time at the office.

# Be realistic

As I said, just because you have a hangover and say you’ll never have another drink doesn’t mean that will happen. You’re not perfect. As people, we are always learning and growing. We have weaknesses, and we fail and try our best and sometimes we fall short.

Don’t expect to never have another regret by working through your current regrets. Realize that as you keep moving forward, other things happen and they could lead to regret too, but you’ll face them as they come.

# Control what you can

Regret is so powerful because we feel like we’ve lost control. Something happened, we wish something else has happened, and we can’t turn back time. We have no control over the past.

But, you can deal with regret by controlling what you can. Maybe you can’t change the past, but you can make things better. You can apologize to someone and work on being more mindful of others. You can take care of yourself more carefully.

# Let go of what is out of your hands

This is the hardest part of learning how to deal with regret, but is the most vital, if you want to live in the moment and accept reality. Regret prevents you from moving forward by pulling you into the past.

Letting go of what has happened is how you move forward and focus on the present.

# Retrain your brain

Your brain is trained to regret. As kids, we are put in time out to think about what we did. We are grounded, punished, etc. These things all push us to think about our past mistakes and feel bad about them.

Instead, we need to retrain our brains to learn from those mistakes rather than dwell on them and punish ourselves.