8 Ways To Stop Being Rude To Your Partner

If you've stumbled upon this article, perhaps seeking guidance on how to cease being impolite to your partner, you might assume the solution is straightforward—just stop, right?

Not quite.

While the concept of being kind and respectful to your partner seems simple, the reality within a shared life is often more complex, with tensions occasionally leading to moments of rudeness.

Surprisingly, it's sometimes easier to be rude to those closest to us than to strangers. This tendency stems from the deep trust inherent in close relationships. Just as we may argue with our closest friends, siblings, or parents, we may find ourselves inadvertently displaying rudeness to our partners, knowing that despite our actions, they will likely remain by our side.

When someone is a constant presence in our lives, it can become convenient to vent frustrations onto them during moments of upset. This behavior can become normalized, as we anticipate their reactions and the familiarity makes it seem acceptable.

However, habitual rudeness can become tiresome and, if left unchecked, can evolve into a pervasive disrespect that corrodes the relationship.

Acknowledging that you're being rude to your partner is a significant step in the right direction. It's a challenging admission to make, but it's crucial for initiating change.

Reflect on how you came to this realization. Did you recognize it independently, or did your partner express their discontent? Have arguments become more frequent?

Understanding the root causes of your rudeness is essential. It's unlikely that you intentionally set out to be rude, but there are underlying reasons behind your behavior that need addressing to prevent recurrence.

Are you experiencing high levels of stress that you're inadvertently directing towards your partner? Is there underlying resentment or a desire to create distance in the relationship?

Identifying these factors is the first step towards fostering a healthier dynamic with your partner, built on respect and understanding.

# Reverse the Scenario

When you find yourself being rude to your partner, it might appear as trivial squabbling. You might even rationalize it as a natural part of being in a relationship, dealing with daily stressors. However, rudeness shouldn't be normalized.

Consider how you would feel if the roles were reversed. Would you tolerate your partner's rudeness, or would it affect you? Perhaps it would start to chip away at your self-esteem. Would you address the issue?

Pondering on how your partner feels when subjected to your rudeness should serve as a reminder that they deserve better treatment, especially from someone who loves them.

# Refuse to Accept it

Acknowledging that you're being rude to your partner is challenging, but it doesn't mean you should passively endorse it. Accepting it implies condoning your behavior, which your partner likely doesn't appreciate.

Just because you're in a committed relationship doesn't give you a free pass to be rude. It's common to be rude to those closest to us, assuming they'll always stick around. But this isn't always the case. Permitting such behavior from yourself only worsens the situation and may drive your partner away.

# Disown the Behavior

Some individuals justify their rudeness to their partner as "just being themselves." This excuse is a form of manipulation.

If your partner encourages you to be authentic and comfortable, twisting that into permission to be rude is misguided.

Being rude to your partner is never acceptable. Even when you're being completely authentic with someone, it doesn't justify rudeness.

# Love Isn't a Cure-All

In my years of offering dating and relationship advice, I've heard countless times, "But we love each other." Many believe that love can absolve any wrongdoing.

However, this is a fallacy. While love is profound, it doesn't serve as a shield for rudeness or misconduct. Love requires respect and nurturing; it cannot be used to excuse or overlook rudeness.

# Role Reversal Exercise

To grasp how to stop being rude to your partner, try a therapeutic technique: role reversal.

When you feel on the brink of losing your temper or being rude, switch roles with your partner. Let them speak to you as if they were you, and vice versa.

This exercise fosters empathy, helping you understand your partner's perspective and view the situation from a different angle.

# Reflect on Your Impact

A crucial step in curbing rudeness toward your partner is regularly reflecting on how your words and actions affect them. Take a moment each day to contemplate your interactions.

Ask yourself: "Did I say anything today that might have hurt my partner? How did they react to my remarks or behavior?" This self-reflection cultivates awareness of moments when you might inadvertently be rude.

# Invite Feedback

Rudeness often arises spontaneously in the heat of the moment, sometimes even when you believe your words are constructive but they're perceived as rude by your partner.

The impact of rudeness is determined by its effect, not its intent. So, if your partner feels you were rude, even if unintentionally, you were.

If you aspire to improve, ask your partner to alert you when they feel uncomfortable with something you've said so you can learn and grow.

# Cultivate Self-Awareness

Start by observing your own behavior. Ask yourself, "Am I frequently sarcastic, dismissive, or impatient with my partner?"

Recognizing these behavioral patterns is the initial step toward change. Self-awareness empowers you to catch yourself in the act and gradually modify your behavior.